Oops! Forgot to even mention christmas here, all that run up too!

MERRY CHRISTMAS, HOPE YOU ALL HAD A GOOD ONE!

Was wondering the streets with elyut the other night when we found a sign in a tree and decided to pull it down “Another installation by SmartEnergy”. For reasons unknown we began wondering the streets whilst carrying the sign with us, we’d gone about 100m with it when a police car stopped next to us and some tosser-pig opened the window to ask where we’d got it .etc .etc, We gave him our names (Andrew Kipling and John Wallis) and our addresses (”over brompton way”, “coppersgate farm”). He explained to us that we’d actually committed something called “theft” then accused elyut of giving him “lip”.. Nice (H).

Anywho we rambled on with this fool for sometime and he came to the conclusion that making us place it back in the tree would be the best idea, so we did. He drove off before we did but we decided to shove it up there anyway, perhaps one of his colleagues would do us for littering trees?

Elyut and I parted ways for the evening but by the time I’d got home, elyut had told his parents who’d rung my parents who were sitting, waiting. They didn’t seem to mind too much. More annoying was elliot’s dad who planned on taking both elliot and myself down to the police station to give our real names! TOSSER! Worse than the bloody pig.

Anyway, long story short, we were told off, elliot’s dad is a tit and I was away when he’d planned on taking us to the station so “nerr!”.

Phew!

Thought I'd show off my countdown script I use for all these countdown signatures, calculations .etc:

PLAIN TEXT

PHP:

1. <?
2. $remain = ceil((mktime(0,0,0,"12","25","2006") - time()) / 86400); // Example is of Christmas, 12/25/2006 MM/DD/YYYY
3. echo $remain;
4. ?>

Well that was easy..

How it works:

• ceil() is just a suave (avec fatigue) "round up" so, for example, ceil(4.3) returns 5.
• mktime() in this case is used to convert the date into a number eg "1167026400" = December 25th 2006.
• time() does what mktime does except it's used for telling the time now rather than some other time, eg "1166645373" is right now (the time this blog was written).

The weird numbers we get are the number of seconds since year 0.

We take the time we want (ceil((mktime(0,0,0,"12","25","2006")))) and minus the current time from it ( - time()) then divide our result by the number of seconds in a day (24*60*60=86400) and that gives the number of days until our specified date! We could easily work out the number of minutes, seconds, days .etc just by changing the number we divide by (1440 = minutes, 3600 = hours, 86400 = days, 604800 = weeks, 2419200 = aprx. months .etc). Have a play!

Welcome back Chuckun.co.uk, nice to see you've chosen wordpress as your theme and're offering up a couple of my scripts :P.

Run by Jack, Chuckun.co.uk used to be hosted by me until doc-u-host buggered up and stole a load of my money. I presume it's just a general blog and place to download goodies and watch funnies.....bleh.

www.chuckun.co.uk

Caught a couple of pics of the sunrise this morn:

Not too bad considering I was asleep when I took them. Can't really make much out but to the right (just before you hit the tree) you can see the steam from the power plants about 50 miles from here filling the skies. Then the vague outline of something slightly bright just above the horizon are the hills over near Leaming. Snazzy

WHY? WHY DOES EVERYTHING HAVE TO BE PHRASED IN SUCH RETARDED WAYS?

Gah! Why do computer folk always have to use long, complicated, drawn-out sentences to make clear what they mean? I was just on php.net, looking up some pretty basic stuff to see if there were any examples of what I plan to make and I found this:

Searches subject for a match to the regular expression given in pattern.

If matches is provided, then it is filled with the results of search. $matches[0] will contain the text that matched the full pattern, $matches[1] will have the text that matched the first captured parenthesized subpattern, and so on. 

If I were to write that, I'd say "This scans the subject for matches of regex and displays each one as $matches[0],$matches[1] as opposed to $1,$2."   Why? It makes no damned sense, "first captured parenthesizzed subpattern" WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN?

Honestly, it's ridiculous. You go to a computer store to ask a question and they talk to you like an idiot for not understanding what this jargon means, they wonder why people can be so dumb on computers, it's sentences like that putting them off. It's bloody irritating and I just want to slap all these folk with their big monobrows, coke bottle eye glasses and their comb overs who think they're the bee's knees for having spent 10 years of their lives as mature students who struggled through life until Bill and his team of merry men came along and made an OS to kill all others then got a job in some big company overrun with computer fr00bs because they've not been given a decent weeks training in the matter where they end up living in a small hole at the bottom of the building, only coming out to collect and return faulty computers. :@:@:@

I look forward to the day when all these folk have gone or when everyone is like that and they're nothing special, then what'll they do?

OK, so... I've started hosting mirrors for games at myLBFH.co.uk but I'll be posting links to them here as well. I'm working on getting America's Army up next but for now, my first upload: Enemy Territory

I've always been a big fan of the wolfenstein games. Having played Wolf3D and completed it successfully (all 6 chapters) I was chuffed when I found the sequal to the sequal was available free to download. Developed by Splash Damage and Mad Doc Software (published by Activision), 'Wolfenstein: Enemy Territory' is a multiplayer game similar in style to the multiplayer mode in 'Return to Castle Wolfenstein' (in fact it was first meant to be a sequal to Return to...). There is a lot of new stuff in this game! Enemy Territory is available for both Windows and Linux however I host only the windows version.

DOWNLOAD NOW

I got tired of having to log-in to cPanel and click a load of buttons to get my much needed site stats (do it several times daily) so I went in search of a short-cut. Haven't a clue how it works but here's what I found:

PLAIN TEXT

PHP:

1. <?
2. $pass = 'CPANELPASSWORD'; //your cpanel password
3. $domain = 'domain.com'; //do not include 'http://' or 'www.' or a trailing '/'
4.  
5. /*
6. NO NEED TO TOUCH ANYTHING BELOW HERE
7. */
8.  
9. //retrieves the file, either .pl or .png
10. function getFile($fileQuery){
11. global $user, $pass, $domain;
12. return file_get_contents("http://$user:$pass@$domain:2082/".$fileQuery,'r');
13. }
14.  
15. //it's a .png file...
16. if(strpos($_SERVER['QUERY_STRING'],'.png')!==false) {
17. $fileQuery = $_SERVER['QUERY_STRING'];
18. }
19. //probably first time to access page...
20. elseif(empty($_SERVER['QUERY_STRING'])){
21. $fileQuery = "awstats.pl?config=$domain";
22. }
23. //otherwise, all other accesses
24. else {
25. $fileQuery = 'awstats.pl?'.$_SERVER['QUERY_STRING'];
26. }
27.  
28. //now get the file
29. $file = getFile($fileQuery);
30.  
31. //check again to see if it was a .png file
32. //if it's not, replace the links
33. if(strpos($_SERVER['QUERY_STRING'],'.png')===false) {
34. $file = str_replace('awstats.pl', basename($_SERVER